So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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