And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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