billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
