sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
