I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
