Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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