I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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