Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
