Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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