let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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