Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize