I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize