U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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