sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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