NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
