you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize