I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
