I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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