Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I CAN MOONWALK!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
