I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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