You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
