NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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