SEEEEXXX PLEASE
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think my nap took me to another dimension
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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