i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my phone needs a breathalizer
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
