Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i out mim tonsoeep
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