He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
