I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize