office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I've blown a few things in my day
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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