Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
