i don't like sucking hair
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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