i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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