i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I could fuck to npr.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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