Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize