I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
