I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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