i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
