HIV tests are more positive than that guy
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
