remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
