I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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