I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
