hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
they're like a gay fantastic four
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
