I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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