I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I enjoy the company of your penis
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize