6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
