Have you finally orgasmed yet?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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