Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
