There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
