Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize