It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
