Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize