Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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