I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
