I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
nutella sex= disaster
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize