i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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