The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he wants to bone in the snuggie
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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