I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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