he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
