the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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