so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
