what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
