well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
