They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize