I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
