Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
