weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
