isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
