Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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