Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
