I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
last night I used snow as a chaser
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
