i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
