I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
