Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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